Significantly more then 50 years before J.R.R. Tolkien would create a series of books that would eventually be parlayed into a series of movies, the length of which would make acceptable background noise of intercourse, Plato, in his seminal work The Republic, introduced his own “one-ring”, known as the Ring of Gyges; a mythical ring that was said to bestow its wearer the gift of invisibility.Said Plato of the ring:
“Suppose now that there were two such magic rings, and the just put on one of them and the unjust the other; no man can be imagined to have such an iron will that he would stand fast in justice. No man would keep his hands off what was not his own when he could safely take what he liked out of the market, fail to sleep with some fine bitches, or kill or release from prison whom he would, and in all respects be like a god among men.”Oh, the adorable thinkers of antiquity. We modern folk know that mere invisibility is not nearly powerful enough to be considered godlike. Rather, it’s more like a fairly typical superhero ability (e.g. Invisible Woman). A classroom of third graders armed with paint-filled squirt guns and water-balloons would be enough to render him or her into a captured “to be continued” sequence. No, godlike powers require additional things, like flying, super-strength, or the unnerving ability to split your body into a barrage of independent limbs.
But Plato’s point was clear. Unlike modern fantasy fiction, or anything modern really, where the goal is to bring its creator loads of money and excessive amounts of high-class trim, Plato intended the device to force the reader into introspection, support his claims that morality is a human construct, and leave his audience ashamed of their horribly apparent human failings. As you can imagine, this would not earn one much high-class trim.
Sadly, Plato is no longer around to collect royalties on his T-shirt deal.
But how does this relate to anything remotely useful for us modern folk? We don’t need a weighty dissertation to tell us that there’s some crazy mofos out there, as that stark reality has been jarringly provided by infotainment programs like the evening news.
Well, I’m glad I assumed you asked, because according to the online disinhibition effect, you are, to some degree, allegedly wearing that invisible ring right now! As has been proven by science time and again, the internet easy renders even the most demure and well-adjusted individual into a violent psychopath. You probably just felt your own bloodlust rise a little after realizing that, didn’t you? You did! You homicidal creeper!
The reasons given for this cyber-douchbaggery in the abovementioned article are as are follows:
You don’t know me— This oft heard phrase, emitted by surly teenagers and moody co-workers everywhere, refers to the obvious amount of anonymity of any nearly any internet exchange. (See the article: I am lonely will anyone speak to me)
You can’t see me— Similar to the above, this power of physical invisibility is what turns any given prepubescent boy’s forum persona into that of a macho bodybuilding martial arts master who does not have acne nor problems talking to girls. Unfortunately, this effect is also what may lead you into mistaking Chris Hansen for a surprisingly flirtatious 14 year old girl.
See you later— Like it sounds. It’s easy to run away from an angry lynch mob when they can only contact you through a device over which you have sole control of the “power” button.It’s just a game— a concise way of saying that the normal rules of social engagement don’t apply to the internet. This is also the line of rationale you use to explain to Chris Hansen why your brought over a cheap keg and pack of condoms to a 14 year old girls house.
We’re equals— Not gunna lie, you may have just hit on the pope. Also, you just argued pop-psychology with Dr. Phil. You did this because their screenames don’t wear funny hats or bare intimidating mustaches that denote authority. Apparently treating each other as if all people really were created equal leads to rude behavior.
It’s all in my head— Ah, now we’ve finally reached the important one! You see, when you can’t actually see someone in person, your long neglected imagination asserts itself and fills in the details for you. Suddenly, a grainy picture and a few flirty emails leave you seeing your unborn children in what, you assume, are their big, blue eyes.When this happens in real life, we form what are known as stereotypes. Generally responsible for bigotry, jingoism, Sony, and Panasonic, stereotypes on the internet often get comically blown out of proportion. People end up labeled as things like “trolls” for leading people into conflicts, or “flamers”, not for their flamboyant homosexuality, like god intended, but a tendency to make inflammatory comments.
When it comes to our beloved Wikipedia however, no place can pigeonhole you as systematically or thoroughly. In the bizarre section “fauna”, there is an entire fictional universe of labels that editors can receive for their actions, such as Wikidragon, Wikifairy, and Wikizombie to name just a few.
WikiZombies do not require the same precautions as normal zombies.
[This would probably be as good of time as any to point out that wikisophisticated folk don’t limit themselves to the boring crap that you only see in the main namespace. Beneath the bra and panties of Wikipedia, are the sweet money-shots found in other namespace. For example, you want to look up something on dogs. You type in “dog”. Someone smarter then you (and I) might type in “Book:dog” and literally get the entire book on dogs. This is but one very simple example.]
Since most readers are not experienced Wikipedia editors, or, like myself, people who occasionally edit shit on Wikipedia and then get in trouble for it, most of these will have little baring on you and I. But one must ask, how does Wikipedia refer to normies?Well, in the world of Wikipedia, you’re sometimes known as a WikiInfant (or writhing wikilarva as I prefer). That’s right, you’re best identified a helpless creature that cries incessantly on airplanes/theaters/crowded rooms and shits yourself constantly. While this might sound elitist, its...well, ok, maybe it is a little. But you have no idea what it takes to keep Wikipedia working! Have you ever created an article?? And the sourcing references!? OMG ALL THE SOURCING THE F-ING REFERENCES! We should at least leave the experienced editors to have their fantasy role-playing titles as, much like real fantasy role-play people, it helps make up for a lack of a non-fantasy social life.
Awesomeness tip: See if you can coin your own wiki-terms. Sorry, Dickipedia is already taken. :D
