Shadow people

Main article: Shadow people


Ever heard of “hat-man”?

No, I’m not talking about the drinking game, nor the cap-peddling, mustache-enthusiast from the classic “Caps for sale" children’s book.

Sorry, I owed LeVar a shout out for some Reading Rainbow. :\

The name should conjure up something even more terrifying then visions of extravagantly waxed upper-lip hair or Mr. Peanut. For within the paranormal community there is a dark, and much lesser known entity than the cliche of ghosts or aliens. Known simply as “shadow people”, the shadow people are observed a lot like ghosts, but really as more of, well, shadowy people. While most folk would attribute these visuals to sleep deprevation, the onset of mental illness, or just smoking some really good weed, there are a significant number of people who swear these entities are as real as they are fear-provoking, earning the beings a short Wikipedia page, complete with second-rate citations.

“Hat-man” is a consistently reported, archetypal shadow person. While witnessed like other shadow people, as a dark, spectral humanoid, hat-man earns his particular moniker by wearing an identifying fedora style hat.

An artist's impression of my childhood.

On description alone, I believe hat-man to be the essence of creepery. Yet, what I find truly disturbing about hat-man is the apparent fashion sensibility he holds, perhaps knowing that to become “ball-cap man” or “bonnet man” would be a bad idea. This to me suggests that the shadow people might feed off of the fear they generate in mortal men, like some sort of psychic vampires. They might also just like a look that keeps them filling the sketch pads of dark, angsty teenagers everywhere.

One final note; this article is a little biased. I’m not sure what makes us think that shadow people are haunting us. I mean, granted, waking up to a shadowy anything standing above your bed might ultimately lead to a compulsory change of sheets, but honestly, think about what they have to deal with. How would you like to try to sneak up on some guy only to discover he’s naked and sporting a hairy man sweater? Even worse, what if he was masturbating at the time? The shadow people have probably even seen your parents having sex at one point or another. My point is that it seems much more likely that it’s we physical people who are frightening the shadow people. The article unfortunately makes no allotment for this perspective.

                                               

Who's haunting who?

Awesomeness tip: If you like this creepy stuff, check out an older version of the article. There was a little more content before it was cleaned up and some additional pictures.